


Tonight Tonight

by brimfulofasher



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:54:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23139589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brimfulofasher/pseuds/brimfulofasher
Summary: Alistair has a lot on his mind and one important question to answer.
Relationships: Alistair/Surana (Dragon Age), Alistair/Warden (Dragon Age)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	Tonight Tonight

Tonight. He’s sure of it now.

It isn’t as though he hasn’t thought of it before, doesn’t think of her most nights and all through the day. He wants her, made clear with desperate, heated whispers pressed into his pillow in the dark of the tent and frustration with himself by the morning that he still hasn't asked her.

But he wants to be sure. He needs to know this doesn't mean more to him than it does her, just to quiet that lingering hesitation.

She’s with Leliana and Zevran right now, all smiles and bright laughter and sweeping gestures of her hands as she speaks. It’s a different kind of magic, one that never fails to enchant him. She accepts a pour of brandy from their unlikely friend and her eyes drift across the fire towards him as she drinks. Alistair can’t see her mouth but he knows she’s smiling, by the way her eyes narrow and brow lifts. Once, he’d have shyly turned away, embarrassed by his obvious interest but not anymore, instead resting his chin in his palm while looking back at her with a fond smile of his own. He’s been denied happiness for far too long and while it seems a cruel irony that he’s found it here, with the end of the world snapping at their heels, it feels right somehow. 

Even so, as the evening draws on and the camp empties out, the nagging doubt that’s kept him at bay thus far starts to rear its’ head. The few times they’ve spoken about it, she’s been candid about her own past and while he is infinitely relieved (and more than a little excited by it) that she knows what she’s doing, the fear that he somehow won’t measure up to it, twists in his belly. That he’ll fumble too much and put her off because quite frankly, he always feels like he’s one step away from putting his foot in it where she’s concerned, so muddling to his mind that it’s a wonder they’ve gotten this far.

But for her, he'll try anything.

Before he can pull himself up from his musing and do the deed, she startles him by suddenly appearing at his side, roughly dropping to her knees next to him and leans over to peck him on the cheek in greeting. He can’t quite meet her gaze, smiling weakly.

“You’ve been quiet tonight,” She says, shuffling closer and nudging his boot with the toe of hers as she stretches her legs out in front of her. “Something bothering you?”

He shakes his head faintly, though quickly shoves his hands between his knees in a bid to stop himself fidgeting. 

“Never been better,” He mumbles and while he might have stopped his hands, the nervous energy has moved down to his feet and the hollow clap of leather on leather as he taps them together doesn’t escape her notice. A hand reaches out to gently turn his face to hers, brow furrowed in concern as she looks him over.

“What’s wrong?” She asks softly, lightly tracing his cheek with the pad of her thumb.

And there it is. She cares, knowing him well enough to tell when he’s hiding something- not that he ever does a particularly good job of it- and wants to be here for him when he needs her. This can’t be nothing. He licks his lips, though it's his throat that feels like sandpaper right now, and shifts around to face her.

“Not _wrong_ , but…”

The fire's dying down and yet he's acutely aware of the heat rising in his cheeks and the sheen of sweat on his forehead. _One deep breath and it'll be over, one way or another,_ he tells himself.

"I was thinking, what if...tonight, you didn't go back to your tent?"

There's a pause and slowly she tilts her head in intrigue, lips curled. He likes that look on her, even if he knows he's about to be teased.

"Where else would I go?" She asks, pretending to be coy. He smiles inwardly, genuine this time.

"Mine is...quite roomy."

She presses closer, an arm wound around his neck as she leans in to murmur in his ear and an excitable shiver runs through him at feeling her warm breath on his neck.

"Are you propositioning me, Ser Warden?"

"I might be." He replies, playing along while slipping his arms around her waist, fingers laced together at the small of her back.

"And," She says airily, her free arm joining the other while she runs her fingers along the shell of his ear. "What exactly are you proposing?"

He swallows hard, trying to ignore how much he enjoys the touch while he still needs to concentrate. It's not working very well; other, more impatient parts of him unhelpfully beginning to stir.

"I...I think you know."

"I'd still like to hear it," She whispers low, just brushing her lips over his cheek. Maker, she's determined to make him work for this, isn't she?

“I want to spend the night with you.”

There, it’s out. He holds his breath just a fraction while he awaits her response, watching her face closely for any sign of disapproval. But there’s none, her brows lifting in surprise before she breaks into a broad smile.

“You’re sure?”

He nods decisively, hands twisting a little in the fabric of her shirt.

“Yes. I don’t want to wait anymore, in case…”

“There’s always time, we don’t have to rush anything.” She soothes, dropping the flirtatious pretence for tender concern, catching the end of his sentence and running a comforting hand through his hair.

“You don’t know that,” He sighs, leaning into it and closing his eyes for a moment. “It could all go wrong tomorrow and I don’t...I don’t want to regret anything.”

Slowly he opens his eyes again, holding her face in his hand and running his thumb across soft skin that flushes warm at the touch. “Do you?”

She stares back up at him, slowly shaking her head as she closes the gap between them with a kiss that starts as a light brush against his lips but then pulls him in deeper until he can hardly breathe. He stumbles forward a little, leaning over her and steadying himself with a palm flat on the ground next to her, his other hand sliding lower down her back. She gives a little moan at that and already his mind is racing with all the implications of what’s to come next.

Breathless, they part only slightly, faces flushed and smiling broadly at one another. He takes a moment to study her face in the firelight; the way it’s caught in the deep dark of her eyes like sparks and how the warm glow illuminates her skin. One more kiss and they help each other to their feet, walking hand in hand towards their tents. She pauses as they pass the fire, looking back thoughtfully.

“What is it?” He asks, nervous at her hesitation. She squeezes his hand and stretches up to peck him on the cheek.

“Wait for me inside? I’ll only be a minute.”

Nodding, he reluctantly lets go of her hand, watching her duck inside her tent for a moment before heading on to his. Roughly kicking off his boots, he sits on his bedroll with his knees drawn up to his chest while he waits. He wonders what she could have gone back for, but then again it’s not like he knows how this thing is supposed to work. Drumming his fingers on his knees, he watches the gap in the canvas, anticipation mounting. Should he undress now? Or would that be too presumptuous of him? He could start with his socks and work up from there…

But then she reappears just as his fingers curl around the top of one, beaming at him as she crouches in through the door of the tent and draws it shut. As is her habit, she casts a wisp to hover above them and his eyes widen at the sight of her in the dim light. She’s changed her clothes, or rather there’s less of them now; dressed only in the shift she wears to bed and with her hair let loose from its’ braid, flowing down her chest in inky waves.

“Thought I’d make myself a little more comfortable,” She says as she shuffles over to him on her knees, smiling as she leans in to kiss him. “You don’t mind, do you?”

Blinking dumbly, he shakes his head and clears his throat. “I...no, not at all.” He says, laughing breathlessly. He reaches out to run a hand along her arm, up to her face where he tucks her hair behind her ear and lets it linger on her cheek. 

"Why would I mind when I get to spend my night with someone so beautiful?"

"Funny," She says, turning her head to kiss his palm. "I was just thinking the same thing."

He laughs again, feeling what little nerves have been lingering ebb away. "Well, great minds and all that…"

Pressing close and with her arms around his neck again, she nudges her nose against his and his breathing comes a little short. There's not much separating his hands on her waist from her bare skin, body warm and inviting against his.

"You'll...you'll have to show me what to do." He murmurs. Yana nods, her fingers sliding up along the nape of his neck and into his hair, drawing a shaky sigh from him. He really likes it when she does that, her nails gently running over his scalp.

"It usually helps if you're naked." She says, tilting her head to kiss her way along his jaw. 

"Right. Yes." He mumbles, eyes closed and lost to the feeling of her lips moving to his neck. As if to prompt him, her fingers slip beneath his shirt, lightly trailing over his side as they draw the hem up.

He straightens up, raising his arms to let her pull it over his head and she sits straddled in his lap, hands running along his bared shoulders while she looks him over appraisingly.

"It's not like you haven't seen me like this before," Alistair says, shivering pleasantly when she draws her fingers over his chest, just grazing with her nails. Smiling, she nods, leaning in close.

"Yes, but I couldn't touch you then."

One hand drops lower, running over his belly and makes him twitch, ticklish at the touch. He giggles despite himself, pressing their foreheads together. It seems as though she's making up for lost time, her hands curious but gentle while they explore.

"Although I _really_ wanted to." She murmurs against his mouth with a wry grin. He smiles back, pecking her lips.

"I'm here now…" 

She nods, drawing back to shuffle off his lap. He watches her, breath caught in his throat while she pulls off her shift and then she's naked, unashamed and wonderful. Soft, is the word that springs to mind as he looks at her; her hips and legs pleasantly well-rounded and belly creased where she's leaning forward. 

He thinks it'd be nice, to caress her side, to hold her close; so he stumbles forward to meet her again but she shakes her head, holding him back with a leg deftly raised and the tips of her toes pressed against his chest.

"Breeches off first."

He glances down at himself, then back at her and she's looking at him with a raised brow, expectant and just the hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. She's completely right, of course, so he concedes with a sheepish grin, breeches and smalls drawn down his hips in one fell swoop and he awkwardly shimmies out of them as he moves to meet her on the bedroll, pulled down on top of her while she laughs. So does he, in between kisses to each of her cheeks, the bridge of her nose and her forehead before he settles at her mouth and the laughter soon stops as his kisses deepen, burn a little hotter. 

Skin to skin, it's as much as he'd hoped and more. She guides his hands at first, letting him know it's alright to touch her, that he needn't hesitate. It doesn't take him long to indulge his curiosity, the regret from each time he's held her and held back, making way for revelling in every shallow breath and whisper he draws from her, how her heels trail along his sides as she draws her knees up and keeps him held close with her legs wrapped around his middle.

It's imprecise, a little clumsy. But she wants him, all of him. His hand still trembles a little as he reaches down to hold her face and her immediate response is to thread their fingers together and kiss his wrist, smiling against his skin and that memory alone will warm him even in the most chill, lonesome times of his life, he's certain.

As will lying with her sprawled comfortably across him afterwards, both consumed by a haziness that makes them smile like fools each time they so much as glance at one another. 

"You know," He drawls, thoughtfully running his fingers in slow circles over her shoulder. "According to all the sisters at the monastery, I should have been struck by lightning by now."

She lazily raises her head where it's resting on his chest, setting her chin in her palm. "That so?"

He nods, expression grave. "Yep. Lightning first, then the end of civilisation as we know it. I'm a bad, bad man."

She smirks, reaching out to run her finger down the bridge of his nose. "I think you could stand to be a bit naughtier."

"Oh, believe me, I plan on it." He murmurs, kissing the tip of her finger when it trails down to his mouth. Yana laughs, biting at the corner of her lip in a way he's quickly learned to mean he has her full attention. He gives a slightly weary sigh, winding his arms around her.

"You know our little party will talk, right? They _do_ that."

But she just smiles sweetly, holding his face in her hands as she leans in to whisper against his cheek, "First smart comment and I feed them to the darkspawn."

He believes her, too. 

Laughing hard, he hugs her tight, pressing a lazy kiss to her temple. "See, this is why I love you."

As soon as the words leave him, the cold dread of not knowing if he's just said too much too soon sweeps over him. Yes, he's _implied_ it, with every declaration of how much he cares for her and any fool can see how smitten he is with her. But to say it aloud, it makes it real and real is frightening and brings with it the heartbreaking potential of not hearing it back because why would she-

"I love you too."

Just like that. No hesitation. The relief that floods through him is almost overwhelming, even drawing a tear to his eye that she brushes away with her thumb without questioning it. He has no clue what he's done to deserve her and such tenderness but he makes a promise to himself to never let her go after tonight.

If he ever does, she can feed him to the darkspawn too.


End file.
